6/23/14

Behold !

   When everyone I know abandoned AD&D back in ’86, one of my friends shunned “the switch” to Warhammer, and quit playing tabletop games altogether. One month ago, I told him I was going to run first edition AD&D again, and he decided to come back to play for the first time in almost 30 years. In fact, his very first comment was: “Beholders, man! Scariest monsters ever! How do they reproduce, I wonder?”

   Here’s how.


    Speaking of beholders and their mysteries, there is something that always bugged me about Fritz Leiber’s Ningauble. This dude is a beholder in disguise, right? Same way the Fungi from Yuggoth often dress up and try to mingle with humans, there is one beholder who tried to look like some sort of silly “alien wizard”, and interact with Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. Quite clever, moving those ample sleeves with the three remaining eyestalks...

   Here’s the proof:


   Come on, Ningauble, cut the crap! Did you really think that by putting the words “Seven Eyes” in your name instead of “Ten Eyes”, it would throw us off?


6/9/14

Flying Monopolyp

   Here’s an excellent team-up. You start a game and play normal Monopoly for the first five turns. Then, on turn six, A GATE OPENS in one of these unstable locations (use any Gate token from Arkham Horror and roll 3d6):

 3   Gate opens at the B. & O. Railroad
 4   Gate opens on Illinois Avenue
 5   Gate opens on Connecticut Avenue
 6   Gate opens on Pacific Avenue
 7   Gate opens on St. James Place
 8   Gate opens on Baltic Avenue
 9   Gate opens on Park Place
10  Gate opens at Marvin Gardens
11  Gate opens on Virginia Avenue
12  Gate opens on Oriental Avenue
13  Gate opens on St. Charles Place
14  Gate opens on New York Avenue
15  Gate opens on Kentucky Avenue
16  Gate opens on Atlantic Avenue
17  Gate opens on Pennsylvania Avenue
18  Gate opens at the Reading Railroad

   When the Gate opens, it spews two (2) monsters (do not use the flying monsters), and those two monsters instantly move: 1-3 one spot to the right, 4-6 one spot to the left. Don’t forget: “fast” monsters like the Shoggoth move two spots.

   A second Gate opens on turn nine, and spews two new monsters; again, roll 3d6 on the Unstable Locations table above. The two new monsters instantly move (1-3 right, 4-6 left). Every monster moves again at the beginning of each turn – one spot, left or right.

   Gates open on turns 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, etc. Two new monsters appear every time a new Gate opens.


   When a Gate opens on a street with houses already on it (or even a hotel), these become Abyss Hotel or R’lyeh Hotel or Leng House – depending on that Gate – and nobody lives there or pay anything on it anymore. These buildings are just plain lost, but you leave them on the board still, alongside the Gate – it’s creepier!

   If a Gate opens on a street where a Gate already exists, there is no new Gate this turn, but instead a MONSTER SURGE occurs: each Gate in play spews a new monster.

   When a player ends his or her move on a Gate, he or she is Delayed and loses a turn. When a Gate appears on a player, that hapless player is Lost in Time and Space for two turns: remove his or her token from the board, and replace it on Go two turns later (do not collect $200, getting too close to Yog-Sothoth does that to you).

   When a player ends up in the same spot as one or more monsters, the monsters attack instantly, dealing their listed damage, which is between 1 and 4 Hit Points (no die roll).

   Each player has ten (10) Hit Points for the entire game.

   There are no Sanity Points, and no Clue Tokens.

   Hit Points don’t come back, and you cannot buy them, either. When you’re down to 1 Hit Point, you can still function and buy and sell property, but you are really weak – and those fourteen luxurious houses and hotels won’t save you when your time comes...

   After the monster or monsters have dealt their listed damage, the attacked player can deal some damage of his own, and possibly destroy one monster, if he has a firearm or some other sort of weapon, magical or not. The damage dealt is the damage listed on the weapon card, with nothing added. “Tommy Gun” does 0 to 6 points: roll 6 dice, 4-6 are successes. Destroyed monsters are returned to the cup.

   Put both the Common Items and the Unique Items decks at the center of the board, but remove any card that is not a weapon. Only keep the knives, axes, magic swords, rifles, pistols, shotguns, dynamite, holy water, etc. Each player can draw ONE card per turn, and buy it at the listed price – or return it to the bottom of the deck. Add a zero to each price tag (i.e. $15 item costs $150). Players can start buying weapons even before the first Gate opens, but they can’t trade weapons between themselves, even when they happen to meet on the same street or in jail.

   Buy as much property as humanly possible, and drive all the others into bankruptcy? Is this really the message we are sending to our kids? But if you add “DEVOURED BY SHOGGOTH” here and there, well, it may become palatable.

   Real estate is up 1.24% as of this week. Enjoy your next game!